An Evening with Sarah Turner

Last night I had the unexpected pleasure of skyping with Sarah Turner, a close friend from Semester at Sea, for a while.

Sarah and I in Shanghai.

 Talking with someone who knows me so well, and who I know well in turn, was refreshing. Lately I have been feeling distinctly disconnected from people. I have a small number of close friends here in Boone, but the majority of them are gone or too busy to see regularly. While my job requires me to be social, I often feel as though few people know me.

This is, of course, my own fault.
I am painfully introverted.
I know I come across as cold and stand-offish when people first meet me. Some people have even said I am intimidating upon introduction (why, I'm not quiet sure). This impression is due largely to my economy of words upon meeting new people- If I dont have something interesting to say, I wont say anything; I'll hang back and watch. I enjoy watching people- I can figure most people out quickly, at least on a surface level. I love to watch people interact.
I am the ultimate wallflower.

I've been meeting a lot of new people recently- and so I have been feeling the similar feeling of discomfort; that feeling that whispers in my ear that I am somehow not normal; that there could be something wrong with me.

Talking with my lovely friend Sarah reminded me that being introverted is not a crime. There is nothing wrong with me. Sure, our conversation may have included sayings like, "You don't think Russian guys are cute? Have you seen young Stalin?" I miss my SAS friends more everyday (so, if, you're reading this I miss you).

Summer in Boone

Summer is beginning. Since I spent the bulk of my adolescent life living in Florida, the changing of the seasons has always been a particular joy of mine. You see, dear reader, in Florida there are no seasons- there is hot, hot and a little less hot. Since moving to Boone I have relished in the change of the seasons. By the time winter rolls around and begins to strip the trees of their multi-colored leaves I'm ready for the chill of winter. By spring I am yearning for the flora and green that prepare for summer. Summer comes around just in time to quench my thirst for sun and warmth. Autumn, my personal favorite in Boone, is a watercolor painting of oranges, yellows, and browns.

Summer is a nice time of year in Boone- not too hot, not too many people, and lots of spaces to explore-unhindered by the mass of super loud college students that usually plague Boone. Summer is a great time for picnics, naps in the sun, and warming yourself in a hammock while reading your favorite book.

I plan to spend the first half of my lovely Boone summer by tackling a math class that I have been terrified to tackle. So, Im happy to spend my time and energy really focusing on this class- giving it the attention of a newborn- really focusing on it.

However, due to my total loathing of math, I plan of spending a significant portion of my time in the summer reading. I have a stack of books to work through- beginning with finishing Perdido Street Station by China Mieville. I began it for a sci-fi class I took last semester and never got through it. The plot is compelling and interesting, but Mieville's vocabulary can be a bit... pretentious. Don't get me wrong- I'm a huge fan of using two words when one probably would have sufficed, but he gets a bit ridiculous.

I'll keep you posted on my progress.

In a pinch...

In a pinch I can pack up my whole life in my car.
I like that fact.
I guess it makes me feel like im not super connected to any of my belongs- that there are more important things to myself than the amounts of stuff I have....
                            ....... though I do love dresses.

Im not sure what that says about me. A fear of commitment? A need for movement? A total lack of roots?

Im done with my junior year of college and yet, Boone still doesnt feel like home all the time. Boone is a lovely place that I am supremely lucky to live in- but it still feel as though Im passing through on my way to some other destination.

I guess Im just ready to move on.

walking home in the rain

I was walking home today and it started to rain.
Not all at once, gradually, the way rain comes usually.
I closed my eyes for some reason and suddenly I was transported. I was somewhere else. I was caught in a rain storm in Dalat, Vietnam. With my eyes closed it wasnt difficult to imagine the sounds of the cars and buses was the wurr of dozens of motor bikes.

When I opened my eyes again, I couldnt recall if what I had just remembered was real, or a blurr of memories. Was it Dalat, or Shanghai? It rained in Dalat, but was I out in it? I had a raincoat on in Shanghai, but did it rain?

Today in the rain, I pulled the hood of my raincoat down and let the raindrops, bigger every minute, fall on my hair. The cool water splashed on my face and ran down my back as I tried to remember.

dreaming of the ocean

It's finals time. I only have one paper and one test between me and the end of my junior year of college. A little crazy, isn't it? Even crazier is what I was doing finals time last semester- staying up around the clock finishing papers for Dr. Fowler, my wonderful professor around the world, whose affinity for tight denim shorts never stopped burning my eyes.

It's hard to believe that it has already been near five months since I landed back in the States. As I write papers around the clock once more I cant help but yearn for my old view.

The work may have taken longer, but that kind of beauty must resonate in writing- even school writing.